So after much debating of how to start this blog I stood in front of my epic (it is, really, we may soon have to start suspending them from the ceiling) DVD collection for about 15 minutes and decided. Yes I chose a stimulating, thought provoking and classic piece of film making... Folks I present to you Piranha 3D.
"There are thousands of them and they are pissed!" utters Novak, the hapless scientist who does a classic Clark Kent. He starts the film as the geeky, bespectacled nerd but when the time comes and the 'ickle fishes are launching into an epic Spring Break picnic... Off come the glasses and he is uber-cool action man off on his jet ski to save the world, albeit with a shotgun .
That really sums up what Piranha is all about, a film that doesn't take itself seriously at all. There's little in the way of suspense or dramatic tension, those piranha are hungry and they sure as hell aren't waiting for a 5 page plot point get in the way of a little penis nibbling!
Plot wise it's fairly basic, Spring Break is occurring in Lake Victoria when a small earthquake causes a split in the lake floor and releasing our nippy little friends. In come the scientists and the bad stuff starts happening, a piranha buffet if you will. But this actually works in the films favour, the story is quite tight even though there are 3 different threads; Jake and the gang on the boat of fun, Jakes brother and sister stranded on an island, and Jakes mum, the local town sheriff dealing with tourists and trying to close the lake. These threads come neatly together to form if some what of an anti climax.
Over all the film is well produced, I didn't watch it in 3D as I refuse to wear those crappy cardboard glasses you get with the DVD and to be honest I'm not ready to hop on the 3D bandwagon just yet. Special effects were good and some nice gore effects, include the face being ripped off one unfortunate girl trap behind a speed boat. The massacre scene is brilliantly shot, fast pace and gruesome, just what you want when watching this sort of film.
The acting is not that bad either, it's well cast with a few familiar faces... Come on the appearance of this guy means it's worth a watch:
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| Ving Rhames went slightly overboard when making sushi |
Even Kelly Brook managed to actually know what she was doing, although she was incredibly British. To be fair the majority of the adult female stars weren't cast for their acting talent, yes there are lots of boobs (my husband reliably informs me there are a total of 12 naked pairs throughout the film), the only character who really got on my nerves was Kelly simply due to the fact she just came across as whiny and spoilt making me want her to get eaten preferably mouth first. Look out for cameos from Richard "Jaws" Dreyfuss and Eli "Hostel/I cameo in everything that involves gore" Roth.
In conclusion a good way to spend an hour and a half (in my case spending a lot of it wondering when Jerry O'Connell got so old), definitely worth a rent if nothing else. Leave your brain cells at the door and bath in the glory that is drunk people being eaten by fish... Coming soon Piranha 3DD... I'm not joking!
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