Splinter

"You're suffering from a severe case of CDS: Can't Do Shit!".  This line probably sums up the situation for the characters in the majority of the next film, it's a little know gem of a horror movie; small budget, even smaller cast and a smartly written script make my next choice Splinter.

Trapped in a remote gas station a young couple and an escaped convict are being hunted by the Splinter parasite which transforms its living victims into poky hosts.  This may seem a little dull, an hour of watching people ponder life and death in a tight space, a bit like Big Brother if Dead Set had actually happened (it's a shame it didn't really).  The story line is tight enough to keep you hooked and the pacing of the film is excellent, I liken it to The Thing slow burning but always aware of the danger outside.

This film is not for the squeamish, it's not your typical maniac with a blade hacking people up but it is gruesome.  The parasite takes over the body in quite a graphic manner during one scene, resulting in some arm bending action that would put a contortionist in hospital.  All the while those already consumed are coming back to find more fresh meat, like a psycho Womble who can't find his rubbish.

When Thing went postal nobody would survive

What holds this film together is a combination of a well thought out concept with a strong cast, there is no horror stereotyping here; the woman do not feel the need to scream in a high pitch voice while bouncing their fun bags and the blokes are not all hell bent on killing whatever is chasing them.  The best way I can describe it is intelligent, yes the characters have some stupid ideas but they realise they are and try something else.

The actors fit well into their environment; Dennis makes a believable turnaround from hard knocks convict to repentant do gooder, Polly and Seth aren't your typical horror couple as she's the brawn and he's the brains much to Dennis' amusement.  The remaining three actors, for their short screen time fit in nicely, Lacey does go a bit overboard with the Ginger references.  You know she's referring to her dead dog but you can't help thinking she's actually just woken up to discover she's ginger, nothing wrong being a red head love.

The special effects are subtle but so well done you be hard pushed to think this had a small budget, the splintering effects as the parasite takes it's host is brilliant and the scuttling body parts caused much debate between my husband and I; was it animatronics/puppetry, CGI, or some bloke off screen with a piece of fishing wire?

Go find this film, watch it and rejoice...  Harking back to the brilliance of The Thing, this is a smart horror.  And if you're ever stranded in a British gas station being chased by some B&Q parasite you'll be cursing the fact we don't have back stocking refrigerators.